Somebody Slap Me With A Fresh-Fried Fish

The other day, I placed my finger on something. Something that had been bothering me. Bothering me so much so that I set on a quest- an oily quest, much akin to that of Sinbad out in the sea.

You see, there is this kind of enchanted vegetable oil that is full of pheromones. Don’t take it for granted, because it can also induce hallucinations. At first, upon opening the kibuyu, one’s senses become heightened. Vegetables become brighter and multicolored. You can hear the flame on the gas cooker hiss. And because it is highly cholesterol free, the sizzling of fried fish and prawns actually sounds less fattening and less heart ‘attacky.’

Then your eyes dilate. point lemons, tomatoes and onions become all too tantalizing. There is a strong larger than life urge to squish these vegetables and others onto your face (I think for some reason it makes you look edible at this particular moment).

If you concentrate enough, a fish will shoot out of the kitchen tap. And as your eyes dilate further, you will, hand in hand, travel through time. From your kitchen in the suburbs, to a sandy beach with lots of food around you. And as the high dies down, you rest under a makeshift cabana as the ocean fills your ears and the breeze picks your noses.

Psst. After an abrupt hiatus with no notice, I have made a return. Look out for more posts- at least weekly.